The Perfect Harem' Does EXIST!
by Crossed from another world
Summary: The Kyuubi's taking over Naruto's body...but he doesn't destroy the world! What's keeping the Kyuubi from doing something he's supposed to do? This Comedic Novel will have you raving for MOAR!


Chapter one: 'The Perfect Harem' Does not EXIST!..._for now!_

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This is a new story just for fun. It helps me out every once in a while to right like this. I hope I did make it sound at least a little bit funny. I try. I really did!

So if you like this one and want me to continue it then please!

_R&R FOR MOAR!?_

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Chapter one: 'The Perfect Harem' Does not EXIST!..._for now!_

My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I want to be the best Hokage there is!

_My name is the Kyuubi (Nine-tails) and unlike Naruto's dumb dream. My dream is to create the best HAREM there is, mwahahahaha!_

**We're the outside people in this story and are dream is...nothing because the writer lacks creativity...**

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I'm walking by myself again.

Yep, this is how it's going to be. I keep telling myself.

'Don't worry about finding a girlfriend just become the Hokage. The girlfriend part just falls into your lap after that.'

I couldn't help but worry though. What if...I end up alone...or worst...I end up like that old lady with the diamond in her head! (Tsunade)

_She's pretty cute...if you ask me._

The voice inside my head speaks to me and I just punched it with my left arm, hurting myself. I know the voice's weakness is for me to punch my head as hard as I can, repeatedly!

How do I know this? Well, he told me ofcourse.

I laugh out loud at the mistakes of my counterpart. The kyuubi, what a sucker!

_Ow Naruto you're hurting me. Ow if you punch me again I'll definitely feel that one. Ow it hurts so much. (hehe)_

In the end I managed to knock myself out and the images around me dis-_It's my turn to play..._

_I wake up after taking control of my host's body and walk the earth like a human. I didn't really just up and decided to become good! What the hell is that Kishimoto telling you folks! This is what happened..._

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The blinding speed of Lee's punches prove too much for me. We've decided that we wanted to train on pure Taijutsu only and I just found out that Lee's twice as better than I am when it comes to Taijutsu. I just wished I didn't have to learn it this way. I mean c'mon! Couldn't this guy give a hint?

"Naruto-kun. I could read your physical strength from here and it's not looking to good..."

Rock-Lee told me while giving an unsure look if he should continue.

"Dammit Lee...you better not let your guard down!"

I rush in and hit him squarely on the face. He fell backwards, but immediately counters attack by kicking me in mid-air. I thought I at least hurt him! My head bounces backwards and I fall on the ground, hitting a rock. How and why was there a rock there!

(In the forest)

**My pretties...I shall protect you from the rain. I look at the beautiful ants beneath my feet as they crawl down my pants. I have to apologize to Hinata one day for lying about the ants. I didn't want them to be found out. I place more rocks at random places.**

"**One day...these rocks will serve a perfect meaning to life and people will remember my name...finally..." **

"**Shino!"**

**Kiba called out, beckoning me to come over, "Hurry up and get out of the forest. We've kept Tsunade waiting long enough." **

"**Just give me one moment." I said. I needed to finish praying with the ants and it only took me a matter of seconds to be finished. I walked outside of the forest and back to my grou-**

…

…**..**

**They've left me. I failed...**

(Back to the flashback!)

Lee runs to me worriedly as he see's my limp body hit the rock.

"Naruto-kun! Are you okay?"

Of course I'm not okay bushy brows...I landed on a fucking rock for fucks sakes...I usually don't cuss in my mind, but usually when you reach the point when you're in pain that you can't talk...it's okay to say a few bad words.

_Let me take over..._

The voice whispers in my ear with darkness fulfilling my mind.

"Okay."

"_Wait, what! It was that easy. I just had to wait until you're in pain and then I could've taken over?! You fucking brat!"_

"Naruto-kun!"

_I look at the man in front of me. I know him from the voices and all I could say is..._

"_Wow, you really do have bushy eyebrows don't you. How do let these things go?" _

_I touched it and played with it for a little while. It was like having something to scratch and I like scratching. I also like killing! That's why I'm going to kill this guy in front of me right now!_

_Mwahahahaha!_

_Mwahahahahahaha!_

"Tsunade-sempai! Look over here! Naruto's got red eyes!"

_The young man said something and it bought off my attention. I lazily look to my side and there she was..._

"What did you say?"

_The busty, naughty, sweaty, delicious...okay maybe just busty in real life, but I can just imagine her being the rest! _

"_Nice to meet you!" _

_I grab her hand and shake it and she gives me a weird look._

"Naruto are you okay?"

_She touches my forehead and then tries to observe my eyes. I hated that eversince I was born into this weak world. I glare at her and decide to play a front. When there not looking...I can kill them both!_

"_Lee...ahem...that's your name right?" My eyes travel to the young man behind me and he nods his head._

"That's right...Rock-Lee...Man I hope I didn't hit you too hard."

"_Well yea, that's what happened. I hit my head and felt a little bit dizzy because of the rock he merciless hit my head into." _

_The busty young lady looks at Lee and then back to me. She wasn't buying it so I moved to plan to._

"_ow..."_

"Oh my poor baby!"

_The busty girl said, bringing me closer to her chest as I smile in triumph. Once I'm done ***** her brains out I might just let her become my slave. I have control over this body now after all._

_She looks over to Lee with her brows cross and wags her finger._

"I told you to go easy on Naruto. Look he's bleeding out through his eyes!"

_I take it back...she's an airhead...but I need to take this chance and kill them all!_

_The more blood I take in the more I can become stronger!_

_Mwahahaha!_

_Mwahahahahaha!_

"Hinata! Come here! I need you to go and see what's wrong with this guy's eyes. I know you came back from a mission but it's important..."

_I look around to who she's calling to but I see no one. That's when I look at the small tiny dots coming forward. I must be really bleeding from my eyes because I swear I can't see her at all._

"I know you're tired, but he needs help! Narut-"

"Sensei...I am here on your request."

_Oh gawd that was fast. I look at the girl in front of me, kneeling down to Tsunade. I don't know where she came from but if she's here anyways I can just kill her as well. _

_She then suddenly stands up and busting out are two huge melons that are on her chest._

_I could see my saliva falling on the floor._

_I look at Tsunade and bow a little lower._

"_I'm sorry but we're no longer needing your services. You've been replaced by my new slave." I stretch my arms to display this beautiful, busty, sweaty, naughty...okay maybe not the last two, but definitely the first two. _

"He's been talking like this for a while. I want you to know that he's hit his head on a rock because of Lee."

"I'm sorry!"

_The bushy man said, cowering in fear from his two new worst enemies. _

_I don't care though. I just want a taste of those melons, so if you don't mind me. I'll just grab this girl and be away for a while, but i'll come back and kill the rest of you. I reach out to grab her chest but then the girl suddenly turns to an angle that stopped me from grabbing my treasures. I look at her in anger, but I see she's calling another person, perhaps I might find another beautiful treasure among these rocks._

_I allow this to happen._

"Sakura-chan can you come over. I need you to heal Naruto he's badly hurt!"

_The busty girl said and as I look forward to my new meal I finally see her running. The graceful entrance, the beautiful face, the soft tender skin and the..._

_the..._

_She doesn't have a chest!_

_I look over to Hinata and bow my head only a little bit, "I thank you for your services. You'll still be needed to stay with us please."_

_I then look over to this thing, "I hope you feel proud of yourself!" I said, pushing her to the ground._

_The girl at first looked peaceful, but then I felt something tingling in my back. It was like the tiny essence of Naruto trying to warn me about something._

_The girl then suddenly smoothes sleeves and rolls it back. I bite my tongue and my eyes squint as I try to make out what she's going to do._

_She then cock her fist backwards and with a wild swing!_

"What!"

_The busty lady with the purple daimond on her forehead looks with amazement._

"It can't be..."

_The girl they call Hinata and the girl who's currently my slave freaks out as well._

"No way...!"

_The unimportant bushy brows looks at me with a new found friendship. _

_The girl in front of me only has her eyes widened in shock as I smile at her. In my hand is her fist and I caught it so easily it was nothing. _

"_You try that again...and I'll rip your arm off..." I said coldly, looking down at her as if I was a lord._

_The girl hides her shame within the insides of her bangs as her hands slump to her side. I grin in triumph once more until my face suddenly freezes. _

_I felt a sharp pain spreading on my stomach and look down to see a big bruise forming._

"_What the hell..." I said out loud before falling on my knees. I got hit._

_I then look at them all before my surroundings disappear. It's been a while since I've met such worthy opponents and even though I might not be in my full form._

_I know that it's still fun having such strong people around me._

_I smile and with a resolve...decide my own fate._

"_I'll fuck all of you before I die!"_

_I said it aloud and everyone just stares at me in disbelief. I then fall into a deep slumber and awaken back in my cage._

I suddenly feel the strength in my fingers. I could move again, but when I tried to I suddenly feel this mysterious pain hitting my stomach.

I stand up and look around and they they are. I could see the blushes from two of the other girls, but what's wrong with Sakura...she's shaking, probably she's cold.

"Sakura? Are you alright? Do you want to come over at my house so I could warm you up?" I offered her a nice greeting, but then...

Wait...what...why is Sakura aiming for my face with her fist! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!

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_And that's why I'm suddenly good. I make a promise. I tend to keep them!_

_I move my fingers as I stare ahead at Konoha. Naruto might've just got down doing his mission to become closer to become Hokage...and well...I shouldn't allow him to pass me! _

_RIGHT!?_


End file.
